Life is About Relationships: How They Shape Who We Are and How We Can Change Them

Life is all about relationships—whether with ourselves, others, or the world around us. These connections influence how we show up, how we react to stress, and how we experience life. But many of the relationships we have today were formed long ago, shaped by our early experiences, childhood conditioning, and the ways we learned to cope. Understanding these dynamics gives us the power to shift our perspectives and change how we engage with the world.

Our Relationship With Ourselves

The relationship we have with ourselves is at the core of everything, yet it’s often shaped by the beliefs and behaviors we learned in childhood. Early traumas, family dynamics, and societal expectations influence how we talk to ourselves, how we handle emotions, and how we cope with stress.

When we were young, we developed coping strategies—like avoiding conflict, people-pleasing, or shutting down emotionally—that helped us survive in our environment. But as adults, these same strategies often limit us. For example, if you were taught to suppress your emotions to avoid confrontation, you may find it hard to express your needs or boundaries. Or if you learned that your worth was tied to achievement or approval, you may struggle with self-compassion.

The good news is that these patterns can be changed. By becoming more self-aware and recognizing how past conditioning is still influencing your behaviors, you can begin to choose different responses. Instead of reacting from your adaptive child mindset—those reflexive habits you developed to cope—you can learn to respond from your wise adult self. This shift is about becoming conscious of your thoughts, emotions, and triggers and choosing how to respond with intention rather than habit.

Our Relationship With Others

The way we relate to others—whether it’s a partner, friend, family member, or coworker—is also deeply shaped by early conditioning. As children, we learned what it meant to be in a relationship based on what we saw and experienced. These patterns often follow us into adulthood, playing out in subtle ways.

If your childhood experience taught you that love was conditional, you might struggle with trust or feel like you need to earn love and approval. If conflict was handled with anger or avoidance, you may have learned to either lash out or withdraw when you feel threatened.

The key to changing these dynamics is awareness. Once you recognize how these old patterns are showing up in your current relationships, you can begin to make conscious choices. You can learn to communicate more openly, set healthy boundaries, and show up with more vulnerability and trust. This shift from automatic reactions to intentional responses creates deeper, more fulfilling relationships built on mutual respect and understanding.

Our Relationship With the World

Our relationship with the world—including how we view money, food, work, and even our sense of safety—can also be traced back to the beliefs and experiences we had growing up. These areas of life often reflect deep-seated conditioning, passed down from family, culture, and community.

For instance, if you grew up in a household where money was a source of stress or scarcity, you might carry those fears into adulthood, leading to anxiety or avoidance around finances. If food was used as a way to comfort or control, emotional eating might be how you cope with stress today. Similarly, how you relate to work—whether it feels like a source of purpose or a burden—may be tied to childhood messages about success, worth, or productivity.

By understanding how these patterns were formed, you can begin to shift your perspective. You can start to challenge the beliefs that no longer serve you and make more conscious choices. For example, you can change your relationship with money by shifting from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. Or you can improve your relationship with work by redefining success in a way that aligns with your values, rather than external expectations.

Ultimately, transforming your relationship with the world comes from awareness and choice. It’s about noticing where you’re operating from old, inherited beliefs and learning to engage with the world in a way that feels more aligned and authentic.

The Power of Changing Perspective

At the heart of all of this is the idea that we are not stuck in the patterns we learned in childhood. While those early experiences shaped how we relate to ourselves, others, and the world, they don’t have to define our future. By bringing awareness to these relationships and understanding how they were formed, we gain the power to change them.

When we shift from reacting based on old conditioning to responding with awareness and intention, we open the door to healthier, more fulfilling relationships in every area of life. Whether it’s how we relate to ourselves, our loved ones, or the broader world, these relationships can evolve as we grow in self-awareness and connection.

Life is about relationships, and by bringing conscious awareness to how we relate, we can create deeper trust, respect, and understanding—both within ourselves and in all areas of life.