My journey to becoming a life coach started with my own quest for self-awareness, beginning with health and fitness.  During my time as a health coach, I noticed that most of my clients were not only struggling with their health they were also facing challenges in their relationships.  They felt disconnected from their partners and were mostly just trying to manage their partners' emotions. It sounded exhausting. This common thread among my clients further inspired me to shift my focus to relationship coaching.

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I recognized that when I was growing up, I experienced a lot of dysfunction in my family. I never really learned what healthy boundaries were or how to resolve conflict without name-calling or blaming.  I basically learned how to be in a dysfunctional unhealthy relationship.  This lack of understanding carried over into my marriage, where my husband and I frequently argued about the same issues—lack of communication, intimacy, money, and unmet needs. I blamed my partner for my unhappiness, but I eventually recognized that I was part of the problem.

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This realization prompted me to explore my role in our unhealthy marriage. I learned that we didn't respect each other's boundaries. I would lash out when triggered and then pursue my husband to force communication and resolve conflicts immediately. He didn't respect my need for privacy, and we both avoided honesty to prevent anger or hurt feelings. We tried to manage each other's emotions, a strategy that never worked.

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As I gained more insight into my own behaviors, patterns, and emotions, I finally learned to ask for what I truly needed in the relationship and to manage my own emotions effectively. Despite these efforts, my husband and I were unable to work together, and after 34 years of marriage, we decided to divorce.